I am here to let you know that I am struggling. Not sure if it's the weather, the fact that we are now empty nesters, the fact that my closest friends are dealing with struggles of their own, or maybe just a combination of everything. But, I'm feeling extremely rundown... BLUE. I feel blue. No ambition to do anything. If I could, I'd sleep all day. It makes me feel weak. I should be stronger. I need to promote, I need to write, I need to make swag for upcoming book signings. I need to do those things, but I find myself playing games on my phone or scrolling Facebook. Some days have been better than others and I've accomplished a few things. But, in general, life has sucked.
And, each day I take one step at a time. And, I feel worthless. Then, I yell at myself because I shouldn't feel that way. I yell at myself for not getting enough done. And, the cycle begins again. But, you see, I'm not worthless, I'm just in need of a break. In need of some down time. Then, the guilt sets in. My husband doesn't get down time. He has to get up and go to work every week day. Then, he often works on the weekends, too. He's struggling, too. But, he doesn't get a break, so why should I?
What is it with the world today? Why are we all so full of anxiety? Why do we fight depression? Shouldn't we be happy. We have a roof over our heads and food in the kitchen. Our children our healthy and doing well. So, what do we have to be sad about? Or, stressed about?
But, that's the funny thing about mental illness. Mental distress. There is really no rhyme or reason. There is just it. No one deals with life the same. One persons happiness is another's sadness. Therefore, there is no catch-all treatment. It is trial and error. Pills, changes of scenery, feng shui, chakras, colors, foods, and everything in between.
I'm sharing this because I want you to know... if you are struggling too... you are not alone. You are strong, you are amazing, you are beautiful. And, don't be afraid to ask someone for a shoulder to lean on or to take some time for yourself. Not taking care of yourself because you worry about others isn't going to help them in the long run. You need to take care of yourself so that you can be the best you that you can be. Being sad, stressed, anxious, depressed, rundown, tired -- none of these things make you weak. Be you. Be a Badass. Accept yourself, embrace your flaws. <3
Josette Reuel is an avid reader of many different genres - her passion is mostly Sci-fi and Paranormal, especially Romance, but she also read's contemporaries, historicals, and much more.
I'm always pretending that I'm sitting across from somebody. I'm telling them a story, and I don't want them to get up until it's finished.