If you follow me at all, you know that I struggle day to day with anxiety, depression, etc. So many deal with these same difficulties every day. My heart goes out to them and I hope that someone is there to support them and hold them up when they are at their lowest.
One of the reasons I am a full-time author is because these issues made it difficult for me to continue going to my full-time job as a technical writer. The drive was at least an hour each way, then I had to drop off and pick up my kids from school/daycare on most days, rush my daughter to her many activities, doctors' appointments for my son and I, and so much more that it felt as if I was constantly on the road. I got to the point I couldn't drive without having some sort of panic attack/ anxiety issue. Those first few years I couldn't drive anywhere. Someone always had to drive me and I would occupy myself on my phone to prevent any thoughts about being in a car on the road. I'd still drive on occasion, but only into our local town for my appointments or for the kids. Time went on and my daughter got her license, then my son, then they both eventually grew up and moved out (my son just last month). Now, it feels as if I'm a hermit. Mr. Reuel and I both work from home and typically only go out if we need something in town. If we could have everything delivered, we'd probably never leave the house. I worry that we've become too insulated from the world.
Thankfully, however, I became an author which requires me to spend hours upon hours online connecting with others. Because of being an author I also have traveled to many places I never would have because of book signings. I'm forced into the light of day. (Insert scared laughter here.)
So, here I am. Needing to write a blog post and my mind is blank. What do I do, but sit at my computer day in and day out and try to build a reader-base so I can sell enough books to make some sort of living? I push past my social anxiety, my shyness, and so much more everyday that by the end of each day I'm exhausted and drained. I have a few rays of sunshine (my husband, my children, my BFFs) but it's sometimes hard to bask in the sunshine when you're so exhausted.
So, what do I hate most? Well, I hate how I can't seem to keep on a schedule, I hate how whenever I want to write I more often than not deal with a mental health issue and want to go to sleep, I hate that after five years I still haven't built a reader-base large enough to make decent money off of a release. Truth be told, I don't even make enough to support my fancy coffee habit and I only have one of those a week. There are days when I wonder why I continue.
Today is one of those days.
#authorlife #authorconfessions #therealme #anxiety #depression #unbiologicalsisters #partnersincrime
Josette Reuel is an avid reader of many different genres - her passion is mostly Sci-fi and Paranormal, especially Romance, but she also read's contemporaries, historicals, and much more.
I'm always pretending that I'm sitting across from somebody. I'm telling them a story, and I don't want them to get up until it's finished.